bow before the HMP-288

[substitute]

changeng brought us the debut this weekend of this device. It's a lot of things. A split keyboard. A dual-neck flying-V keytar. A "Sound Mixer". A light show. $9.95 at "Big Lots!". A really big mistake. An aleatory composition device that produces unpredictable sound patterns RIGHT OUT OF THE BOX! Ladies and gentlemen, the device Stuart affectionately calls "THE HUMP": THE HMP-288!

Comments

[eamajyn.livejournal.com]

I am so very amused.
I really am missin' out over here.

[changeng.livejournal.com]

well, lady, I'm doing a live webcast saturday night at 10:30 PM at www.kulakswoodshed.com for about 30 minutes. Nonsense will abound. Music to cleanse a colon by.

[eamajyn.livejournal.com]

hahaha. i will make a note and try to remember.

[changeng.livejournal.com]

good godamighty. this is the stupidest thing I've ever seen.

oh crap, it's ME.

Conrad, you are the TROIDS!!! Many thanks.

What the crap

[citizenx.livejournal.com]

Where do you FIND this shit?

I totally need to see you play sometime.

Re: What the crap

[changeng.livejournal.com]

Cool! Just bring Excedrin. Or Motrin.

Tho Schnapps dulls the pain too.

[hoyvenmayven.livejournal.com]

I MUST HAVE ONE OF THOSE THINGS. Please oh please oh please tell me how I can get one!

[changeng.livejournal.com]

okay - here's the deal - I found mine at a Big Lots near my church, some distance from my home. It's the only one I've ever seen. In fact, it was strapped to the remains of the bottom of it's box when I first saw it. It was in the lawn supplies part of the store, lights twinkling away. No price tag - I messed with it for a few minutes and walked away. I went to my local Big Lots two weeks later and there it was, same unit, same remnants of a box. This time it was pushed into the corner of the furniture department. No price tag. I messed with it for a few minutes and left.

Two weeks later I go back and now it's in the front of the store, on top of other toy keyboards - not it's own species. I mess with it for a minute, starting to get the willies from this determined little thing. I asked the nice lady how much it was and she dissappeared to find out. I told myself if it's $9.99 or less I'll buy it, otherwise no. She came back 20 minutes later as I'm leaving the store and yells "Meester, the toy is $9.99". So I had no choice.

In the brief two weeks I've owned it, it has revolutionized music as we know it. I have not seen another anywhere.

Good luck on finding one.

[hoyvenmayven.livejournal.com]

Wow, it's like something out of the Twilight Zone! The toy was meant to find you, and with it you will conquer the music world!! But beware...there's always some sort of downside. Perhaps you have to sell your soul to it or something. Or, it breaks and then your career goes kaput.

[changeng.livejournal.com]

sell my soul?

apparently you haven't met my monkey.

[hoyvenmayven.livejournal.com]

Also, one of these days I'm just going to have to say fuck it and hop in the Prius and just drive the 400 miles to see you perform.

[changeng.livejournal.com]

AND THEN YOU SHALL BE HEALED !!!

[ahhhlisaaah.livejournal.com]

Thanks for taking some awesome pictures of the girls! Good news - they'll be hanging out at Stuart's on a permanent basis - congratulate him - he's added Doll Pimp to his resume.