Attacking the darkness.

[substitute]

So here's the plan. I'm going to sell Dungeons & Dragons, specifically I think "Advanced Dungeons & Dragons", as a cult. The idea is that the D&D books, while masquerading as a game, are actually the keys to an ancient and powerful spiritual tradition. And I alone am the chosen one who has been given the burden of showing Mankind the Way. The adventures, and monsters, and character types, and spells, and all of it are Tarot-like symbols that point inward to a hermeneutic tradition that has been suppressed for five thousand years.

The (expensive) services will be of course D&D games. As the supplicant's character increases in level, more bits of the inner truth will become apparent, or be revealed by the treasures and monsters that are encountered. Higher level characters will be given the ability to buy magic items, spells, weapons etc. The opportunities for religious consumerism will be endless here: dice, dice bags, books, etc. At a certain level, the supplicant may be invited to become a game master at a low level. And after years and years, the top level (probably 33rd as in Masonry) could be achieved, after about $150,000 and a lot of work. The mysteries of character generation, character types, alignments, and the existence of "dungeons" could be explained in stages of symbolic meaning tuned to the supplicant's level.

So I could fuse pop culture, childhood nostalgia, Scientology, the New Age, shopping mall "wiccan" distaste for Christianity, the will to power, consumerism, multilevel marketing, geek culture, the current Tolkien mania, and every mythic tradition that D&D itself grave-robbed.

And if there's girls there, I'm going to do them.

Comments

[yoscott.livejournal.com]

I think the levels should be called Gygaxes

[mskoi.livejournal.com]

And thanks to the OGL (http://www.opengamingfoundation.org/ogl.html), you can do it with official licensing!


(don't mind me, I wandered in from a friend's friendspage)

I CAST MAGIC MISSILE, INTO THE DARKNESS!

[nosrialleon.livejournal.com]

Hey, worked for H.P. Lovecraft's stuff.

[mcpino.livejournal.com]

I can't find the link for the application form?

[kineticfactory.livejournal.com]

Don't forget the goth angle. IT-geek goths have a lot of discretionary income to put into asserting the profound darkness of their tortured souls, trying to be scary, and shit like that.

You may want to look at various neo-Satanist cults/scams, like the Temple of Set and the Process Church for examples.

[halfjack.livejournal.com]

This might ideally be marketed as an expansion product.

I can see it

[zebulon-y.livejournal.com]

Deities and Demidorks

requires

Operating Monster Manual III

requires

3rd Edition Core Ruleset

[trinnit.livejournal.com]

Be sure to go Door to Door
Selling the D&D books

[face-dance.livejournal.com]

I'll bring the Mountain Dew and cheetos!

[spacemummy.livejournal.com]

The various dice conform to the array of Pythagorean solids.

[halfjack.livejournal.com]

What will I do with all the Platonic one I already bought? :( I hate upgrades.

[spacemummy.livejournal.com]

Platonic? That's in your freakin mind, which is only a shadow of divine light.

[eyeteeth.livejournal.com]

This was kind of already the subject of (what else?) a Chick Tract.

[flipzagging.livejournal.com]

I want to be an investor in your scheme. And for this, you will enshrine me as one of the enlightened ones in the pantheon.

Also

[torgo-x.livejournal.com]

It can't be a real American subculture gimmick unless you work Native Americans into the backstory in some minor and highly froufrou way. (But actually involving them in the present of it would be typically exasperating.)