Mother! Father! Don't touch it! It's EMO!

[substitute]

The EEG lady said that my pattern of injury is often associated with the following:

• inability to form intimate relationships despite other social successes;
  
  
• self-hatred far out of proportion to the evidence;
  
  
• hypercritical judgment of self and others;
  
  
• discomfort in crowds;
  
  
• inability to clean up or organize personal space due to emotional overload when attempting to do so;
  
  
• overcompensation with intellectual success to combat social failure;
  
  
• a sleep schedule that is about four hours "late";
  
  
• complete overwhelming collapse on being confronted with multiple tasks at once;
  
  
• depression and anxiety that feel surprising or out of place even as they are occurring;

I mean, damn. I'm surprised my eye color wasn't in there. I'm skeptical and wary of diagnostic lists that seem to dovetail to my life, having had a few of them over the years that falsely promised some discovery, but this is just plain eery.

I keep having experiences lately where I'm talking to someone who wanders away in mid conversation. Or other forms of communication: I IM someone and they don't respond and then sign off, or I send email that goes into the Void.

I'm not at all sure if it's significant, or if it happens to me more or less than it happens to others. In any case I find it harder to write it off when this happens lately. I'm far less socially confident than I was a couple years ago, and it's easy now for me to slip into a near-paranoid assumption that the other person dislikes me and is hoping I'll go away.

This despite the fact that it's more likely that the other person is having a multitasking failure or distracted in some way. As with most of my brain lightning problems, it's egotistical.

In any case I cannot tell whether I'm getting a "keep the hell away" signal from some people I know or not. I'm glad that I at least know that I don't know, and that I have Occam's Razor in my medicine cabinet.

Comments

A skeptical take

[hotelsamurai.livejournal.com]

I cannot tell whether I'm getting a "keep the hell away" signal from some people I know or not.

I have the same problem.

Occam's razor: do not attribute to brain injury that which is explainable as a combination of (a) garden-variety social illiteracy, and (b) being way too fucking hard on yourself. I myself have both.

They could just be telling you what you want to hear to sell you more "treatment". But then, I dismiss everything as quackery. As my friend Mo once said, "Alternative treatment?? Just give me what works."

Just my two cents.

Re: A skeptical take

[substitute.livejournal.com]

My attitude is that "garden-variety social illiteracy" or "being hard on oneself" are descriptive but dismissive rather than explanatory. I'm interested in finding out what the problems are and how to solve them.

Neurofeedback is new, but it's based on legitimate science (double-blind studies, replication, measurable results). Therefore I think it's worth a try. I am a skeptic, but one does not make progress without taking risks.

Quacks are easy enough to detect. They promise the impossible and have the Solution to Everything. The people I'm dealing with may be wrong about how the brain works, or their technique may need refinement, but they aren't quacks.

My own problems are very large, life-swallowing, and intensely painful, so writing them off or saying "I'll do better somehow" isn't sufficient. A noninvasive and affordable technique that might do me some good is going to get a try.

But if I turn into a werewolf, shoot me, 'k?

Re: A skeptical take

[hotelsamurai.livejournal.com]

I'm interested in finding out what the problems are and how to solve them... A noninvasive and affordable technique that might do me some good is going to get a try.

That's the right attitude...

My own problems are very large, life-swallowing, and intensely painful...

Damn. I feel for you. What, in a few sentences, are the problems as you see them? I know an engineer who is fond of saying that "a solution is just a problem re-defined in a useful way."

If you have any problems that can be solved by competent and graceful desk-clerking, don't hesitate to contact me.

My only prima facie problem with neurofeedback is that EEG measures global arousal patterns in the brain, and may not address the underlying cognitive problem, the flawed thinking. But I may just be talking out my ass.

I have gotten some good results with cognitive therapy...

Re: A skeptical take

[the-silent-one.livejournal.com]

I have gotten some good results with cognitive therapy...

as have I

Re: A skeptical take

[substitute.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I've essentially been doing a mix of cognitive therapy and EMDR. This is the next step along the same axis; working on the brain function that makes useful cognition more difficult.

Glad you're getting good results.

Re: A skeptical take

[trinnit.livejournal.com]

I have a Neurological Disorder, among other things it causes brain tumors. Doctors and others love to blame this for everything.

Bad Balance - NF2
Athlete's Foot - NF2
Homical Rage - NF2
etc etc

If you went by them I never have any normal diseases.