Neo-metro-emo-pomo-bozo-slomo

[substitute]

1. This seems like Bad Idea Jeans: Let's go koala hugging, kids! Even the Holy Father himself looks like he just realized this was a very, very bad move.
   
   
2. According to Automotive Digest's summary of WSJ and LATimes articles (registration required, BugMeNot works), gasoline demand dropped 4% last week. Yes, four percent in one week. 52 oil and gas platforms are missing, 49.6% of combined oil & gas production in the Gulf is offline, crude oil futures are up 48% year-to-date, and 20% of US refining capacity is shut down or at reduced capacity.
   
   
3. do_not_lick pointed out a case of life imitating The Onion.
   
   
4. The water in NOLA is full of sewage bacteria, lead, and heavy metals. Best sentence: "Tests by aircraft of the city's air, which has a strong stench even from a couple hundred feet up, indicated no potential health issues."
   
   
5. September 11 Memorial burns out eyes of aged veterans with death rays.
   
   
6. ParanoidWatch: They're using UAVs for rescue operations in NOLA. How long until they're flying over every city, 24/7?
   
   
7. Lost dolphins from a Missisippi aquarium were found huddled together in the Gulf, probably squeaking "holy fucking SHIT that was intense!" at each other.
   
   
8. I wish some of these failed 90s trends had happened.

Comments

[carbonunit.livejournal.com]

Do you know why it's been banned in New South Wales and why it's such a bad idea? It's because ALL KOALAS HAVE CHLAMYDIA!

True. Actually most (not all) koalas have endemic chlamydia infections. Mother koalas feed their babies fresh shit from time to time, to establish their population of stomach bacteria they use to ferment and break down the leaves they eat. This also passes on the chlamydia. It lies dormant until they get stressed, like being held by humans every day, then it flares up and kills them.

imagined dialogue

[substitute.livejournal.com]

"Okay, before we make love, my dear, I have a confession. I have chlamydia."

"Ew! EW!"

"But it's okay. I got it from a koala!"

"GET OUT OF MY HOUSE!"

[potatohead.livejournal.com]

That is a frightening picture of Janet Jackson on the koala webpage.

Oh, MAN

[nosrialleon.livejournal.com]

I'm gonna go get a turban and a little sword. This is gonna be SWEET.

[bruisedhips.livejournal.com]

"cuddle radio"
best idea ever.

[mr-flippant.livejournal.com]

The pool closes at 10...

I love the prose of guys like this

[substitute.livejournal.com]

"These mammals, now remember these are mammals, they have to be safe just like we do..."

"...we'll have more interesting scenes like these for ya later."

Fax sex

[torgo-x.livejournal.com]