..so that older Americans would never again be eaten by hoboes or washed by monkeys.

[substitute]

Here are the latest hot issues and talking points. Thanks for keeping up to date with these so that we are all on the same page.

1. Rotisserie cock fighting
   
2. The threat of postmodernism in intramural athletics
   
3. So-called “clean” water and the liberal agenda
   
4. Batter: do we really understand this mysterious substance that affects our lives in so many ways?
   
5. Acne Treatment for Iraq: an American Miracle
   
6. The Tragedy of the Garrulous Child
   
7. Rethinking Garrotting
   
8. A cure for Tennis Elbow in our lifetimes
   
9. Counterfeit Condiments and what they mean to you
   
10. Earl Scheib’s Legacy now and for the future
    

Once again thanks in advance for your cooperation.