Whoopee! Another Meeting!

[substitute]

redmaenad decided that I didn’t have enough horror and revulsion in my life, so she gave me the print catalog for Trainers Warehouse, the place where asshole corporate trainers get all their stuff.


Whoopee! Another Meeting! Video
Preempt the rolling eyes and yawns of a jaded group of learners with this surprise attack opener. Heavy eyelids will pop open when you call your training session to order with this hilarious video snippet by internationally acclaimed humorist and HR consultant Loretta Laroche. Using zany humor and funny props, she lampoons the reputation of the dreaded meeting -- but what she’s really doing is helping you bond with your group and win you some good-guy points.
Welcome bag for learners
It’s a Welcome Wagon for learners! Welcome participants with a full bag of fun and practical items to inspire participation, open-mindedness, feedback and learning

• Meter Pin: Tell us how you’re doing.
  
• FlexiBlox: Remain flexible and open-minded.
  
• Key Chain: Don’t be embarrassed to ask questions.
  
• Ball and Cup: Challenge yourself
  
• TO DO pad: Learning applied is learning remembered.
  
• Gold Coin: Your contributions are priceless.
  
• Pep’o’mint Lifesaver: Refresh your mind.
  
• Squeeze Star: Your goals are within your reach.
  
• Pencil w/ Eraser: Make mistakes! You’ll learn more.
  
• Learner’s Bill of Rights: Enjoy a safe learning environment. (See full text.(PDF))

Smile Mirror: Set of 12
Give your people a smile mirror to keep by their phone as a reminder to communicate positive energy through their voice. Mirror is backed with a gentle adhesive so that it can be mounted and removed from computer or wall. 2 1/2 “ x 6”.

It just goes on and on and on like this...

Comments

[nickjb.livejournal.com]

Of course the library had someone once just like that , in fact it may have been her...

[zebulon-y.livejournal.com]

okay so I mean I've forwarded some vile painlinks in my time, sure.

but seriously what the fuck here

someone is looking for a beatdown when I am next in the area.

[anarqueso.livejournal.com]

I'm gonna hurl. I'd rather sit through a thousand boring coop meetings than have one dingdong manager tell me to pep up.

[oldrichnovy.livejournal.com]

"Squeeze Star: Your goals are within your reach."

Why, exactly, would anyone have squeeze toys as a goal in life?

I worked at a Food Lion supermarket in awfully southern Virginia, and because many of the employees were from the local high school, Food Lion thought it would be a good idea to borrow the high school bulldog costume and follow up the required training video with a Food Lion Pep Rally complete with "Who Let The Dogs Out Woof Woof" soundtrack

Let me tell you that a five-day waiting period on firearms saved the life of a five-foot anthropomorphic dog in that particular instance

[eyeteeth.livejournal.com]

WHITEBOARD ON A STICK

[pbd.livejournal.com]

Northwestern Mutual wanted us to put a mirror by the phone so that we would smile. If you need a mirror in front of you to remind you to smile, then you need a new job.

She would make conzillions of dollars if this shit was included in an adult version of a McDonalds happy meal.