Hugely Fat People News Roundup

[substitute]

1. ”A group known as the League of Human Dignity helped arrange for Deuel to be driven to a local livestock scale, where he could be weighed.” Phew! Glad we preserved his Human Dignity!
   
   
2. While rescue crews came up with a back-door rescue plan, detectives secured the crime scene and questioned family members on how it got this bad.” Maybe it was the eating and not moving?
   

Bonus for the league themselves, with this fly graphic showing their phat moves.