Horrible cover versions

[substitute]

I’ve had a couple of conversations with nickjb and genericus about bad cover versions over the last few. We were dredging our brains for the worst covers we could think of, either because a good song was humped to death by some horribly inappropriate interpretation, or a mediocre song was taken to the logical limit of its badness.

Some notables were:

• Natalie Merchant doing “Because the Night” like she had a teacup on her knee.
  
• Fine Young Cannibals present the Buzzcocks’ “Ever Fallen in Love”
  
• Blood, Sweat & Tears do “Minnie the Moocher”. Late enough in their career to have drum loops.
  
• Phil Collins skullraping “You Can’t Hurry Love”
  
• Michael Jackson sings “Come Together”. Auuiiggh.
  
• 10,000 Maniacs again, this time murdering John Prine’s “Hello in There”
  
• James Taylor “How Sweet It Is to be Loved By You”
  
• Shaun Cassidy “Rebel Rebel”
  
• R.E.M.’s teeth-grindingly whiny version of “Pale Blue Eyes”
  

Please add yours!