Or you could have Joel Grey come to your company and scare the shit out of everyone

[substitute]

I prefer HTML-resized Carol Channing to terrify my employees. They’re all available from Grabow and Associates, a wonderfully named organization.

EDIT: Wes Craven is also available, sparking this exchange:

ignatz: I like the idea of a corporate motivational event starring Wes Craven
zebulon_y: hehe
ignatz: “So, imagine this. You haven’t met your sales target, and we’ve put you in a box. A very small box. And in that box is a spider. It’s dark in the box, and the spider is very big.”
zebulon_y: “Here’s what happened to the last sales team that missed the numbers...oh, that’s messy”
ignatz: zot
ignatz: Purchasing finds themselves alone in the boiler room with Freddy due to insufficient cost controls