They memorialized the guy with a picture of him drinking. It was unbelievable!

[substitute]

The thing is I would forget to breathe sometimes at night so I had to learn to remind myself. We’re working on it; I probably won’t have to beat him up. I have to take three times the dose most people do but it works pretty much okay. I’m not sure there’s an appropriate place for Truck Nuts, but that sure wasn’t it. If he moves from being my ex ex boyfriend to being my ex ex ex boyfriend does he still have to pay for stuff when we go out? I had an argument about math at the Target! Self-medicating with Jagermeister is meta stupid. I was feeling depressed and then realized hey! I have a car, and speed metal! The guy wanted to write his autobiography and call it REBEL FOR THE FUCK OF IT.

Do not go gentle into the Little Knight. The guy bought two of them and I said “I guess you need it!” and then I felt just awful. Trouble with that guy is, he’ll paint half your house and then disappear. She was dropping all kinds of hints but no one wanted to hear her story so we all just went home.

This isn’t a place to bring yourself; it’s a place to bring a cheerful plastic puppet of yourself.