FLORIDA.

1. Couple Offered Hit Man $100 To Kill Grandkids
   
   
2. 2 College Students Found Dead Inside Advertising Balloon
   
   
3. Man In Florida Accused Of Trying To Use Potato As Silencer

We're still fighting bravely for our vague goal!

1. Only the U.S. Government's GIANT SPACE SLINGSHOT can save us now!
   
   
2. The Pixies as done by Prince, Jimi Hendrix, The Beach Boys, and others.
   
   
3. Simone Weil said that she didn't want to go to Heaven, because she thought the people in Hell would need more help. Dear Kirk Cameron: You're no Simone Weil.
   
   
4. In other religious news, the story of Daniel in the lion's den is meant to prove a point, not to provide an example to emulate literally.
   
   
5. Since I am a terrible physical coward I would probably just slip this card under someone's wipers rather than present it in person.
   
   
6. The Vespa saved Italy from Communism. Maciej's piece on the occasion of the Tiananmen anniversary asks: Will Wal-Mart save China from capitalism?
   
   
7. My friend Russell has shot a hilarious promo for a new tv show called It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, and it's here on his page. Warning: earworm. Browsing around his site I found the painfully perfect promos he did for the Sci-Fi channel a few years ago, which haven't lost their ability to make me chorf.
   
   
8. I have installed a lonesome electric chicken.