Nice job, guys

Surgical tools washed with hydraulic fluid.

Now, I worked in a hospital, and I know the people who do this stuff are major stoners. But not noticing the difference between detergent and hydraulic fluid? What. The.

alien versus cop

alien versus cop, originally uploaded by conradh.

Four Bravo Nine, I'm out with one pedestrian, request a Code 1 for unusual circumstances. And a supervisor. And the Taser...

And now a series of cheap jokes

http://www.gaywheels.com/

1. What, no Cabrio on the top page?
   
2. Where are the Silverado pickups and Subaru Outbacks for the lesbians?
   
3. Is the Escape Hybrid a "Bi/Curious" car?

Jokes aside, the "gay friendly" thing is probably a good idea if they do it right. Certainly I'd feel more comfortable giving $30,000 to a company that treated GLBT people well.

Do it, cordiloquy! Please!

San Luis Obispo's Public Fish Sculptures + H.P. Lovecraft = COMEDY GOLD.

HOLY SHIT

7.9 quake in Chile

Dumbass is a virus from outer space.

I keep seeing this article about William Burroughs linked everywhere, as though it was somehow the definitive word on him.

I don't think so.

Is it supposed to be news that Burroughs was a drug addict and did some really shitty things, and was neurotic? Or that he had an "Ugly Spirit"? Has anyone read a biography of him, or paid attention to his writing? Parts two and three are worse, ending in a clumsy Freshman Comp "conclusion" paragraph that says exactly nothing.

What is wrong with "internet culture" that a mediocre 5-7 page undergraduate literature class paper that deserves about a B+ is linked all over the place as canonical, innovative, fascinating?

READ A BOOK, EVERYONE!

Aqualung my friend, don't you be so fucking emo

Movie Guy D and Crazy Counselor C have a few things in common. They're both around 40. They both spend way too much time at the coffee house with their very old laptops. They're both floridly neurotic. They both have a lot of trouble with social interactions. And they both at least very slightly know every attractive woman between the ages of 16 and 50 that shows up there. When the target shows up, one or both of them will greet her effusively, and then later leave his seat to go converse, sometimes lingering until she leaves. We joke sometimes about their crawlspaces full of dead indie girls, but they're harmless.

They're both pretty smart guys, and D for one can tell a good story, and has done interesting things over the years. C doesn't talk to me, but others say he's a nice enough guy. D drives me nuts with his mannerisms but he's a nice guy too.

The other thing they have in common is that they're a lot like me. We're all three socially adrift, out of our element, alienated from the people around us, and lonely. We all have attachment issues and social anxiety that have kept us from getting close to others. We're all smart, and neurotic, and we squick the girls.

My laptop is a lot newer.

And we're all too old for this shit. You know, a fish can flop around in the bottom of a boat for a hell of a long time before it finally goes limp. Hard to watch, ain't it?

Did someone say...

...Sleestaks?