World domination

( kwiz lameness )

"I actually invoked that Pat Benatar just now."

Café Ruba, on Newport Boulevard, is my emergency backup coffeehouse. Like the 17th St. Diedrich it has a large open patio. Unlike the Diedrich it also has a pool table, lots of televisions, some couches, a variety of energy drinks and cigarettes for sale, much later hours, Orangina, and Costa Mesa's demimonde. Okay, that last one is an oxymoron. The people at Café Ruba are one of:

• High school misfits with adjustment problems
  
• Twenty-something misfits with nasty drug problems
  
• Thirty-something misfits with nasty drug problems and criminal records
  
• Forty plus misfits with nasty drug problems, criminal records, and an unhealthy interest in high school misfits
  
• People of all ages and backgrounds who are just barely outpatients
  
• Unsuccessful serial killers
  
• About five people I know and like.

imnottravis, the_silent_one, the Mascot and I went there tonight because D's closed and we weren't done. Jared and the mascot played pool with Clayton, who is one of the five people. I talked with some people but mostly people-watched. I counted four Inappropriate Geek Fedoras. While listening to the worst hard rock of the 80s, I saw one of the worst haircuts of the 80s come in attached somehow to a 17 year old girl. I had a breve. I only have a breve at Ruba, which is good because I don't go there often and it's not smart to drink 16 ounces of half and half.

I was very happy for the_silent_one for having the best two days in forever. She deserves that.

There's a couple that comes to Diedrich a lot and just sits there and smokes and talks. At least I think they're a couple; they've never been physically affectionate in any way. They never interact with anyone else if they don't have to, but they're polite. She's a pretty East Asian woman with a knockout body and a tramp stamp; he's a very well-groomed quiet white guy with a unibrow. Tonight I found out that they come to Ruba too; there, they play the same video game for two straight hours, also without interacting with anyone else or being physically close. They really intrigue me and I want to know their story. I keep spying on them to figure out their lives: Hmm, they're studying for the LSAT. Hmm, he's complaining about his job but I can't hear details. Hmm, hmm.

And now, I hereby invoke rule #6. I'm having inappropriate feelings but I will not say about what. Boo-yaa!

And this just in via the Associated Press and/or mendel

How About A Swig Of Pig Water?

Don Lloyd dipped his bottle into a tank of water that had been flushed out of three nearby pens filled with thousands of hogs just six hours earlier.

“There, that’s pig water,” he proclaimed as he held up the bottle and tipped it back for a thirst-quenching chug.

( PIG WATER PIG WATER PIG WATER )

The concept of "Fruit Buzz" will be communicated to the female audience through "girl speak".

McDonald's Has Buzz Over Green Fork
May 11, 2005

CHICAGO -- McDonald's is supporting the launch of its Fruit & Walnut Premium Salad with a multimedia push and a "Green Fork" animated character in a campaign dubbed "Fruit Buzz."

The marketing effort, via Burrell and DDB, Chicago, broke this week with 15- and 30-second TV spots, McDonald's largest print buy and POP featuring Destiny's Child. Spend was not given.

A part of "It's what I eat and what I do" food/energy balance platform, "Fruit Buzz" is a "change in attitude and an overall happy feeling one gets after eating the Fruit & Walnut Premium Salad," the fast-feeder said in a statement. "The concept of 'Fruit Buzz" will be communicated to the female audience through 'girl speak,' allowing McDonald's to talk to women in the same language that women talk to each other."

In an animated spot via Burrell, a young woman is walking down the street on a spring day, but when she opens the door to her friend's house she is transmogrified into her animated persona and is then ready to "Get a Fruit Buzz".

McDonald's print buy includes more than 30 multicultural titles and more than 20 in-language Asian specific publications. Inserts will appear in publications such as Vanity Fair, Bon Appetit, Essence, Estylo and Oprah. Also, in partnership with Conde Nast, many of its publications will include a Starburst insert and taglines like "It's that feeling you get when everything is 60% off," "Makes me feel better than knowing my ex-boyfriend is still single" and "Having one makes even a bad hair day feel good."

Oh Sailor.

ohsailor, originally uploaded by Mc Fawntastic.

This is the most terrifying cat picture I've seen in years. Thanks, Hils!

How to turn a lightweight SUV into a sedan with kinetic energy.

Some kids were going to their prom this weekend around here. At 70 mph on the toll road, the driver went for a pack of gum and lost control of the car. The passenger "helped" and grabbed the wheel, and they rolled their Isuzu Rodeo. Two dead, two seriously injured, two moderately injured.

( accidents will happen )