DRUG CRAZED CRAZY GUY ON CRAZY DRUGS FOR HIS CRAZINESS

I got my first ever prescription for a controlled substance today. It was kind of neat looking at all the crazy security features on the prescription pad. It was a sample but they can't have samples of controlled substances, so the doctor gave me a magic card. On the card is a phone number which I called. After punching in various numbers I was told the card was "activated" and I went to the pharmacy and gave it to them with my super secure prescription, and then I got my drugs for free.

It's a stimulant that's supposed to help with my ADD issues. Apparently the main drug abuse problem with this stuff isn't tweakers, but college kids studying.

DRUGS part 2

I forgot to mention the really funny part about this drug. It's called Adderall, and the package with the magic card on it noted that I was joining the ADDERALL ACHIEVERS!! Which of course reminded me of the Coffee Achievers ads from the 80s.

But the best part was that the box contained not only an infotational booklet about being an Adderall Achiever and how this drug was going to fix my life, but an Adderall Achievers FRIDGE MAGNET! The doctor didn't believe me at first about this. "They put a what in there?"

So, even if this stuff doesn't do jack for me I still get a fridge magnet. If things go well, it'll go next to the Zeppelin Bread one. If poorly, it goes in the section of the fridge full of failed dot com fridge magnets.

Return to the Palace with me...

The Panther Palace, that is. West Costa Mesa's sexiest sex club for sex, home of swingers from all of central coastal Orange County, where the affable Gordy runs the show. I think I've mentioned the place before. It's locally notorious, because this is generally a very unsexy part of the world. No worries, there's no titillation to be found chez Gordy.

http://www.pantherpalace2000.com/

Please note the least sexy sex swing ever, the overstuffed video room, and the art-filled front room.

Some sample quotes from the horrified Internet Residents to whom I introduced this place tonight:

TorgoTen: "This is my drawing of where the aliens/CIA took us for the 'poontang rendition'."

eyeteeth: I can't stop looking at it. It is seriously the least arousing thing I have ever seen.

fimmtiu: If you're running a sex club and you can't afford leather accoutrements, you're in the wrong business.

WilliamLadislaw: I rigged up sexier digs for my old Pentium II web server.

eclipsetuliphead: are those dirty tube socks??

There is nothing wrong in using emails to spread the disease.

THE BLACK METAL DIALOGUES!!

Katie and the Giant Lemon

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