odradak made this for me.

He’s really good at artery.

Die in a fire, Jerry

Mayor McCheese, formerly Governor Moonbeam, has a blawg. Wouldn’t it be awful if it filled up with goatse? God I can’t stand him. Even among politicians he’s a whore.

By the time I get to Arizona

The nation’s best state for heavily armed racist wack jobs produces an armed terrorist group; government is going to “monitor” them. I’m sure they’ll follow instructions and only offer food and water to lost illegal immigrants, though. It’s not like any of them are hate-filled crackers itching for a chance at legalized lynching or anything. BAD IDEA JEANS

http://abcnews.go.com/US/wireStory?id=518953&CMP=OTC-RSSFeeds0312

Hey! I've worked there too!

How to destroy a company with Management Techniques and Excel.

There’s a version of the American Dream that consists of building a successful company and then walking away with the money to drink umbrella drinks while morons destroy it. It’s my favorite version because it’s so reliable. I have worked for that company no less than three times. The interesting thing to me is not that a standard version of Asshole Capitalism happens, because I learned about that in Econ 101. The cool part is that every company I’ve seen do this failed horribly afterwards. Sometimes the Invisible Hand is just wanking.

This is what happens when almost all your good scientists leave

From about.com, unverified:

Hitler’s Nazis were convinced that they were destined to rule the world, and they came to this warped conclusion through the acceptance of many occult beliefs and practices, including astrology, the prophecies of Nostradamus, and the hollow/inverted Earth theory... hohlweltlehre. Because they suspected that our surface is on the interior of a concave Earth, Hitler sent an expedition, including Dr. Heinz Fischer and powerful telescopic cameras, to the Baltic island of Rugen to spy on the British fleet. Fischer did so not by aiming his cameras across the waters, but by pointing them up to peer across the atmosphere to the Atlantic Ocean. The expedition was a failure, of course. Fischer’s cameras saw nothing but sky, and the British fleet remained safe.

This is probably apocryphal, but every time I run into this story I start laughing again at the earnest Nazis peering into deep space trying to see what the Allies are up to. Meanwhile, of course, we’re building nuclear weapons with all the Jews and Slavs who had to get the fuck out of town.

Whoopee! Another Meeting!

redmaenad decided that I didn’t have enough horror and revulsion in my life, so she gave me the print catalog for Trainers Warehouse, the place where asshole corporate trainers get all their stuff.


Whoopee! Another Meeting! Video
Preempt the rolling eyes and yawns of a jaded group of learners with this surprise attack opener. Heavy eyelids will pop open when you call your training session to order with this hilarious video snippet by internationally acclaimed humorist and HR consultant Loretta Laroche. Using zany humor and funny props, she lampoons the reputation of the dreaded meeting -- but what she’s really doing is helping you bond with your group and win you some good-guy points.
Welcome bag for learners
It’s a Welcome Wagon for learners! Welcome participants with a full bag of fun and practical items to inspire participation, open-mindedness, feedback and learning

• Meter Pin: Tell us how you’re doing.
  
• FlexiBlox: Remain flexible and open-minded.
  
• Key Chain: Don’t be embarrassed to ask questions.
  
• Ball and Cup: Challenge yourself
  
• TO DO pad: Learning applied is learning remembered.
  
• Gold Coin: Your contributions are priceless.
  
• Pep’o’mint Lifesaver: Refresh your mind.
  
• Squeeze Star: Your goals are within your reach.
  
• Pencil w/ Eraser: Make mistakes! You’ll learn more.
  
• Learner’s Bill of Rights: Enjoy a safe learning environment. (See full text.(PDF))

Smile Mirror: Set of 12
Give your people a smile mirror to keep by their phone as a reminder to communicate positive energy through their voice. Mirror is backed with a gentle adhesive so that it can be mounted and removed from computer or wall. 2 1/2 “ x 6”.

It just goes on and on and on like this...

Les nonnes se sont rasé les sourcils, et se sont jetées dans un puits les unes des autres

Wikipedia just broke, the same way LJ did: power outage, plus MySQL/InnoDB. Two cheers for LAMP and no cheers to whomever hosted that thing.

What happened?

At about 14:15 PST some circuit breakers were tripped in the colocation facility where our servers are housed. Although the facility has a well-stocked generator, this took out power to places inside the facility, including the switch that connects us to the network and all our servers.
What’s wrong?

After some minutes, the switch and most of our machines had rebooted. Some of our servers required additional work to get up, and a few may still be sitting there dead but can be worked around.

The sticky point is the database servers, where all the important stuff is. Although we use MySQL’s transactional InnoDB tables, they can still sometimes be left in an unrecoverable state. Attempting to bring up the master database and one of the slaves immediately after the downtime showed corruption in parts of the database. We’re currently running full backups of the raw data on two other database slave servers prior to attempting recovery on them (recovery alters the data).

If these machines also can’t be recovered, we may have to restore from backup and replay log files which could take a while.

Is there an echo in here?