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Everyone is named Kaylee or Ashleigh or Abilene or Tadra or Shammara or Beckye or Lynzie or Rayline or Sharmi. Almost all of them are less than 25 years old. There are a lot of trucker hats. I think I saw the word "chillaxin'" again. Everyone is down for whatever.

It's as though Viacom had bombed Orange County with Nu Metal Stupid Gas.

Where is my beautiful, brainy, poised, creative, fascinating 30-something princess?

Answer? She married a mortgage broker in 1998.

Oh, show me the way to the next little girl
Oh, don't ask why, oh, don't ask why
Show me the way to the next little girl
Oh, don't ask why, oh, don't ask why

For if we don't find the next little girl
I tell you we must die, I tell you we must die
I tell you, I tell you, I tell you we must die

Oh, moon of Alabama
We now must say goodbye
We've lost our good old mama
And must have whiskey, oh, you know why

Courtesy discutant: weird Moonie action

I should just be able to dismiss this nightmare as a hoax. Silly. Goofy. Preposterous, even! That a nutcase cult leader with a criminal record should be greeted this way.

Obviously it's some sort of video art. It couldn't be..

The fact that I'm not entirely sure this is a hoax is disturbing

The bittersweet pain of youth

My friend Lauren is 19, and her boyfriend Chris is I think 22.

Yesterday she found out two things:

1. She got into UCLA, her dream school, as a transfer student from community college.

2. Chris, who is in the Army, is being shipped over to Baghdad for a year.

Whew! Chris lucks out.

Turns out he was mistakenly "volunteered" for Baghdad duty. A woman in his unit desperately wants to go and was disappointed not to be chosen; somehow his name was on the list and not hers. She ships out June 1 for "adventure" and Chris stays here in Paradise.