Courtesy springheel_jack

..we have:

My New Rumsfeld Technique is Unstoppable!

Observations from last night

1. Ladies! If your man takes you to the sports bar section of the Napa Valley restaurant in Costa Mesa, California for that special night, you are entitled and encouraged to place him in a Yard-a-Pult and cut loose.
   
2. If you are a wonderliciously hot 19-year-old woman with legs from here to Sunday and perfect boobs and all the secret sauce, and if you say that a) you can’t wear miniskirts now because you gained 20 pounds at college and b) that you don’t get college because it seems to be all partying and shopping then you have become a STEREOTYPE and it’s time to turn back before it sticks and you turn into one of those people.
   
3. This is especially true when you are saying this to the other 19-year-old woman at the table who is going to the community college and waitressing to finance it.
   
4. I really like Hendrick’s gin.
   
5. I also really like Goat Gouda. However, I was scared by the ancient woman in the minidress at Trader Joe’s who seized on me as I was buying it to loudly explain three times that it was excellent Dutch Goat Cheese and she knew her Dutch because her mother was Dutch and the French can’t make cheese except for cooking but the Dutch cheese was the best, and she also used to have goats.
   
6. I am now sad because ranai revealed that one of the sandwiches at Panera has 2,750 mg of sodium in it.
   

bad idea alcohols

from an irc discussion with stimps, fimmtiu, halfjack and others:

chocolate chip avalanche bailey’s pukey irishmen’s club sandwich in a glass
Ginseng and Buttnut Licor D’Amor
M&M&M: M&M’s and Maledictine
Old Doc McIBS’s Blocked Intestinal Schnapps
Primo Placento, a wine for Today’s Mother
Uncle Bob’s Hard Gravy
Old Man Thymus’ Smooth Sippin’ Sweetbread
Black Mold Vodka
bubble gum bourbon
Gin with tapioca pearls
B&B&B -- benedictine, brandy and BLUEBERRY GELATO
Benedictine & Balut
Anise & Ambergris Liqueur
Creme de Smegme
KKK Reserve: Kentucky Kracker Kooze