are you ready for OPPORTUNITY?

This is the first Sunday in weeks that I haven't encountered some fraudulent multilevel marketing (pyramid scheme) operator working a mark at Diedrich's Coffee, my usual hangout. Maybe there's a convention.

Just about always the table next to me on the patio is occupied by one of these scenes. After a few minutes of reading I'm drawn into eavesdropping by key phrases ("new technology", "growth potential", "own business") and I sit back, sip my beverage, and drift into their world.

Some examples:

• Aging, tanned guy with comb-forward hair, sunglasses, Texas accent talking about diet and hair restoral technologies with hapless eager couple. He keeps talking about things like "this technology protrudes into the hypodermis" and the $10 billion market for something or other. He has lots of binders with him. He keeps talking about the people involved, including "Lars" who is a star in this world. "You can't lose with Lars." They seem happy about it all.
  
• Wide eyed unhappy 20something gay guy trying to get another somewhat less wide eyed guy to go for a scheme that isn't apparent just from eavesdropping. He's using the SPIN technique to sell the guy, but goes from Situation to Problem and can't seem to go further, sliding back to the S part. This goes on for roughly two hours as my friend Pretty Boy Dave and I sit nearby. The experiment is a failure and they both leave.
  
• Large comfortable woman with lots of binders tries to convince another large woman that Primerica is the way to go. Lots of braying about how "AS SINGLE MOTHERS WE NEED TO PROVIDE!" and heavy emphasis on work-at-home success. Papers are exchanged and a long discussion of how much money a person could be known to make at this type of situation! ensues.
  

Rule: do not ever do business with anyone who has no office and wants to meet you at a coffee house.

crack the code, baby

So, there's this whole Homeland Security/War on Terror thing going on. And it seems fairly cheesy and useless from any military or other practical point of view, not even very handy as a tool of oppression. What's really going on?

One thing I've noticed is that at least two friends of mine and more acquaintainces have got jobs out of it, doing things like x-raying packages or clerical work for subcontractors working for the Homeland Security people. And at least two businesses I know of in my immediate circle have contracts to do work for them.

A small light bulb pops on over my head. I've got it. This isn't intended to be useful or even oppressive. It's the economic recovery plan. Say hello to FDR! Maybe this is the only way a Republican president with a shaky coalition can do a federal pork barrel jobs creation scheme.. as a war.

I await my slice of the anti-terror pie.