ARE YOU MY MATCH?

[substitute]

I'M AN HOURGLASS BBW WITH A KILLER SMILE! FRIENDS SAY I'M A "BREATH OF FRESH AIR". I ENJOY CAMPING, HIKING, AND ALL OUTDOOR ACTIVITIES. THERE IS NOTHING BETTER IN LIFE THAN A BIG OLD TUMMY GRABBING TEARS IN YOUR EYES LAUGH. I AM LOOKING FOR A CENTERED, ESTABLISHED GUY WITH A LOT TO SHARE. I WOULD LIKE TO SHARE MY LIFE IN CHRIST WITH SOMEONE. I AM TIRED OF THE BARS AND THE GAMES! I AM A PRINCESS AND I NEED A PRINCE. ARE YOU MY ROMEO? I AM A VERY REAL PERSON. THINGS I ENJOY ARE: ROMANTIC TIME TOGETHER, TRAVEL, AND JUST HANGING OUT AT HOME. IF YOU LOVE SEINFELD AND CHEERIOS AND CLASSIC ROCK U R MY...

Comments

[darkuncle.livejournal.com]

U R MY [gunfire] WELL MAYBE NOT OH WELL HLAGHBLAGHULAGH

[brianenigma.livejournal.com]

It took several re-reads of the first sentence to NOT see "I'm an hourglass BBQ."

[kyieren.livejournal.com]

Wish I were an hourglass. I'm just square - no shape.

[foo2rama.livejournal.com]

Wow are there many more online dateing cliches in that?

[vegemitelover.livejournal.com]

Hey, this reminds me of the story of a bursting cyst and jucky jeans.

[vegemitelover.livejournal.com]

If I end up partially homeless for a couple months, I am definitely gonna send out some inquiries to online profiles.

"Hi. I like quiet evenings at home too, but unfortunately I am homeless. Can I sleep on your couch for a couple weeks?"

[brianenigma.livejournal.com]

"Also, I have a bat tattoo on my face."

"Hourglass BBW"

[leolo.livejournal.com]

What does the TLA mean?

Blond, bouncy, wiggly?
Boobies, butt and wig?
Big bad whopper?