Oh and by the way I'm totally screwed

[substitute]

I'm posting too much today but I did want to mention to the universe that my lab results are back and I *am* indeed doomed: glucose 192, high cholesterol, high bp, sugar in the urine, etc.

So I have to lose vast amounts of weight and probably take a little pill that makes me feel funny. Or die.

A few numbers on a piece of paper have me scared shitless. Which is probably what I needed.

You know it makes sense, don't even think about it
Life and death are just things you do when you're bored
Say fear's a man's best friend
Say fear's a man's best friend
Say fear's a man's best friend
You add it up it brings you down
--John Cale