substitute

A 12-year-old kid got killed trying to lift a 185-pound barbell weight in his garage because he wanted to be a football star. Two Brazilian guys got busted at

odradak's old motel for kidnapping immigrants. We have to vote for a very right-wing Republican in the special election to keep the nutcase racist co-founder of the Minutemen from being elected, because the Democrat has no chance.

A guy who used to be the city manager of Hawthorne, CA was shot dead by the cops in Riverside after he pulled a shotgun on them. Why'd he do that?

"He was a drinker and things that would perhaps not necessarily be significant to you and me were really big deals to him," said Riverside police Sgt. Leon Phillips. "Someone stole his pressure washer from his driveway and his car was rear-ended. That was the context of his day."

Okay I've had enough. Next post will be more interesting and hopefully less grim!