Ain't buyin' nothin'.

[substitute]

I am fixing to write a spamassassin rule that shitcans everything with "Holiday" in the subject line. Everyone I ever bought anything from or thought about buying anything from suddenly has Holiday Gift Ideas, Holiday Newsletters, Free Shipping for the Holidays, Foolproof Holiday Activities, and is, in fact, Your Headquarters for the Holidays.

We're nearing the permanent Christmas of Brazil. If anyone needs me, I'll be driving around the neighborhood deflating these gigantic blow-up turkeys on people's lawns with a screwdriver on the end of a shovel.