Keep the Altavista Flying

[substitute]

1. The Atkins thing is fading, so get your MEATZA while you can.
   
   
2. Your social movement is called WHAT? Oh, okay, you're just trying to sell a book.
   
   
3. BONKED BY AN ORCA!
   
   
4. I want my lightning death ray blaster gun now!
   
   
5. When car tuner culture goes bad worse
   
   
6. Neologism watch: "masstige".
   
   
7. Celebrity portraits in a new medium!
   
   
8. Wait... Burger King is being sued by... SLIPKNOT?

Comments

[besskeloid.livejournal.com]

a) I had to stare at the third headline for a moment, as the UK "bonk" is equivalent to the US "boink".

b) That gum Hung is a Down's Nosferatu.

[cascadefailure.livejournal.com]

Ok, just so we're clear...anyone calls me a "Twattygirl", I'm showing up on your doorstep with a shovel and a tarp (I don't want my car to get dirty).

[burntcurtis.livejournal.com]

That Slipknot lawsuit better be thrown out of court. It's completely meritless.

Should it be decided that Slipknot is in the right, then we can expect a lawsuit by Gwar going after them, and maybe even Alice Cooper going after Kiss for wearing makeup.

The only drawback is that this is being decided in Miami, and we all know how Florida Courts are in making bad decisions...

whattygirl?

[citizenx.livejournal.com]

TwattyGirl represents a new brand of girl who is financially independent, sexy unafraid to voice exactly what she thinks and ask for what she wants. Her mantra is sexy, bold, outspoken. TwattyGirl is the essence of a woman with attitude.

That's awesome. I want to find a girl who is not only unafraid, but sexy unafraid.

[threepunchstuff.livejournal.com]

Step One in meatza recipe: "Combine the pork, beef, onion, garlic, egg, cheese, salt and pepper."

Or to achieve the same effect, hold your breath for 35 minutes.

I'm sueing too!

[joyfulagitator.livejournal.com]

The Paris Hilton car wash commercial was clearly a rip-off of my Saturday afternoon wash the car in leather underwear, then fuck my neighbor on the hood ritual. Thou, I should thank them for leaving the last part out. If his wife found out she scratch my eyes out.