substitute | Kreiss, what an asshole

WITH his vintage blue-and-red rep tie, carefully tousled hair and old metal lapel pin reading "I {heart} Grandpa," Loren Kreiss looks like a typical style-conscious 24-year-old. He collects cool things, like 2,194 "friends" on myspace.com, an antique Coke machine and 15,000 songs on his hard drive. His vintage wristwatch is a fashion accessory, not a tool.

"My watch and all my clocks are set to the wrong time," Mr. Kreiss said recently. "It's symbolic of me. I don't like to look at time."

But as the scion of Kreiss, his family's California-based furniture business, Mr. Kreiss (pronounced to rhyme with nice) sometimes has to work at being an iconoclast. He can barely contain his contradictions. For instance, his three-times-a-week maid often resets the clocks correctly, forcing Mr. Kreiss to reset them quirky again. (To avoid missing appointments, he consults his ever-present BlackBerry.)

The rest of the article is here at the NY Times.

But wait, no, I need to paste another quote: Mr. Kreiss writes his graphic novels on his BlackBerry while working out on an elliptical trainer at the gym.

Wait wait, no, here's another: He hung out with bands like Blink-182 during the height of San Diego's neo-punk scene, sang in a band and produced three records on his indie Lurid label.

Okay I have to go punch a yuppie now. Brb.

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Read to page 2:

"...I think I'm paranoid of people viewing me as just a little rich kid. There's much more to me than that."

Not just more, MUCH more. You can have soul AND nice sheets, for pete's sake.

Oh, of course, but there's something inherently ridiculous about a pampered kid bragging about his "refusal to compromise" when he has so little at risk.

Yeah, I was being ironic, I barely know how to pull that off in speech, much less writing....

I think you're succint and accurate (a prized combination) when you contrast his refusal to compromise with his lack of "sweat equity." Nice.

It made me think: oh man, what's this pigfucker like as a manager? He's East Coast Operations Manager? What do you suppose it's like being one or two levels below him, when you're doing something he doesn't like but he doesn't tell you, or the chain isn't getting an extra unit because somebody didn't get the right permit?

Actually, I thought you might've been joking but it was so bone dry I couldn't tell, which is a rarity for me. (I suppose the capitalized MUCH should have been a giveaway) I appreciate a well-played bit of sarcasm, so well done!

SOmething tells me he shows up to work two days a week.

I understood you ;-)

Kreiss, what an asshole

Totally unfair....

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