Or you could have Joel Grey come to your company and scare the shit out of everyone

[substitute]

I prefer HTML-resized Carol Channing to terrify my employees. They’re all available from Grabow and Associates, a wonderfully named organization.

EDIT: Wes Craven is also available, sparking this exchange:

ignatz: I like the idea of a corporate motivational event starring Wes Craven
zebulon_y: hehe
ignatz: “So, imagine this. You haven’t met your sales target, and we’ve put you in a box. A very small box. And in that box is a spider. It’s dark in the box, and the spider is very big.”
zebulon_y: “Here’s what happened to the last sales team that missed the numbers...oh, that’s messy”
ignatz: zot
ignatz: Purchasing finds themselves alone in the boiler room with Freddy due to insufficient cost controls

Comments

Motivation

[torgo-x.livejournal.com]

ABC! Always Be Closing! OR IT'S STABBY TIME!

[loachie.livejournal.com]

Carol Channing was on the local news last night because she sang some sort of homage to San Francisco for the Giants opening game. Her singing--and her face--were indeed terrifying. All who were present were sort of stunned into silence.

I am still scarred

[citizenx.livejournal.com]

Carol Channing was the White Queen in an Alice in Wonderland TV movie. At one point, she sang some whacked-out song involving when things can happen, and it was terrifying.

To this day, I will wake up in a cold sweat, screaming "JAM TOMORROW, JAM YESTERDAY, BUT NEVER EVER JAM TODAY!"

Re: I am still scarred

[loachie.livejournal.com]

I have seen that TV movie, and I know the scene to which you refer word for word.

How surreal was that thing??

Very

[citizenx.livejournal.com]

The oysters were pretty freaky too.

And Scott Baio as a guinea pig.

And… and…

I don't want to talk about it anymore.

Re: I am still scarred

[do-not-lick.livejournal.com]

I have a Carol Channing lookalike Realdoll.

HATING YOU NOW

[nosrialleon.livejournal.com]

AAAAAAH! AAAAAAAH!
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

Re: HATING YOU NOW

[joyfulagitator.livejournal.com]

Carol Channing yarn F-Doll anyone?

[frobisher.livejournal.com]

Carol Channing performs a partial striptease in Otto Preminger's film Skidoo. It is one of the more terrifying things in cinema.

Mind you, it also has dancing garbage cans and Jackie Gleason on acid. I have no idea why it's not available on video.