aphthous stomatitis

[substitute]

Please saw my head off. After two weeks, the numerous mouth ulcers have not gone away and the pain is radiating up into my ear and skull and down into my throat, making me feel like I simultaneously have an ear infection, bronchitis, and The Devil's Own Canker Sores. Plus postnasal drip, constant need to spit, and other sexy side effects.

This is the worst one in years, and I get these a lot. Seriously I'd pay big bucks for an opiate painkiller, or even better a cure. How can something this unlikely to kill me make me feel this shitty?

BODIES. ARE. OVERRATED.