ext_22968 ([identity profile] springheel-jack.livejournal.com) wrote in [personal profile] substitute 2006-08-27 09:55 pm (UTC)

Re: Hey, I resemble that remark!

Speaking merely from the point of view of a lay reader, your article is so confusing that I can't follow it. Maybe it's the key to everything. One wouldn't know by reading it.

It reads either as the automatic writing of a kook or it needs to be seriously unpacked. "Crabbed" doesn't begin to describe it.

I encourage you to do this work, because otherwise your claims are not evaluable. Please show the article to people who are not part of the in-group and see where they fail to follow it, and work to make those parts clearer.

Then, go put it past someone with editing experience, who can get rid of the inappropriate dangling modifiers, confusing multi-clause sentences, and puzzling overall structure.

(It occurs to me I'm asking for things Wikipedia may be unequipped to do, but it's worth a shot.)

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