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hammer spears
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Unintentional sketch comedy results from extremely detailed correction of Mickey Mouse theological communication errors. Rodent issues fully explained.

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This is "courtesy" [livejournal.com profile] mcbrennan.

I was just arriving at puberty while this stuff was going on. Pity my dysfunction. From 1977, we present Rolling Stone's anniversary and the most something-or-other Beatles medley ever.

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[livejournal.com profile] do_not_lick reminded me of a favorite Internet book reviewer, and linked me to two of his critical pieces I had not seen.
  1. Moby-Dick "The plot could be wholly told in about 15 pages, none ommitted. The rest is philosophy and whale-encyclopedia."

  2. Mrs. Dalloway "Just WTF is this book about ? Making fun of the London "drawing rooms" society of 100 years ago ? M...kay, whatever."

  3. The Odyssey "The style is heavy, but there's no other way out, I guess. They spake (hehe...) this way back then..."
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The first 30 seconds or so is the yow part. The rest is just tv.
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Caption of the day and/or News QOTD of the day from the Orange County Register:

"Craig Gross, founder of XXX Church.com, next to a stack of "Jesus loves a porn star" Bibles that his staff handed out at the AVN Adult Expo in Los Vegas in January. This weekend, Gross is coming to Huntington Beach for one of the organization's signature events: Porn and Pancakes."

At least they have pancakes.
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Courtesy [livejournal.com profile] klikitak, some apparent placeholder text on Ms. Rachael Ray's website for her "heirloom recipe" submission form.

http://www.rachaelray.com/heirloom_submit.php

for when it's taken down )

I for one would pay good money to watch Ms. Ray lead a UFO death cult into oblivion.

Happy Eid!

Oct. 15th, 2007 01:46 pm
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hats

Finally, something India and Pakistan can agree on: really bad hats.
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DRUNK BABY

CHOCOLATE TRIFLE

Jeremy and Vicka

Les Yawn
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1. Do not describe produce as brown. There is a huge library of Lands' End colors for this exact purpose. The tomatoes themselves look fine. You could get away with calling them russet, or golden, or even tawny. Start over. Also: ew.




2. This is a university. It is, in fact, a university with a huge Asian and Asian-American presence. And this university is in a city with a large Chinese-American population; they're a dominant presence. Using ching-chong-chinaman "Confucius Say" jokes on a package of fortune cookies isn't just stupid or insensitive. It's suicidal.

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cloud of unknowing

Tag cloud, The Orange County Register, police blotter page for Newport Beach and Costa Mesa, California. Collection of [livejournal.com profile] substitute, on loan to the Museum.
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[b]
B ' ' H _

Ko mafia ! Global Democracy TRIVOLUZIONE
Cold Fusion W post opec !

Grazie per invio delle cene anche TUE a ARTSENU !
Arriveranno a mandarle tutte / i TERRESTRI grazie
all ' esempio di combattenti come TE !
Tuo Franco JAL ARTSENU MOLCA

Si possono inviare 12 cene annue a :
'' ERA ORA x ARTSENU ''
Conto Corrente Postale 60397007
via di Torre Argentina 76
I 00186 ROMA di Sopra .
Precisando nella '' causale ''
sul modulo CC o nella lettera :

'' queste mie CENE pro ARTSENU IO AFFIDO a
ERA ORA - PRTT - Maria Antonietta FARINA Coscioni
per gestione secondo il manifesto di
ARTSENU TRIVOLUZIONE '' Firma ...

E parlarne a parenti amici commilitoni .
Di persona , per posta
elettronica e non ... : spammare nzomma !!!

and it goes on )
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Comment on another post of mine:
This is Elaine Moore and I am deaf hard of hearing. I want tell yu something about drugs bad your health because drug is hard for your life can't use drug then please try resist away from drug that why you had lot pain away from drug and how you feel . Do you have plan your future. I never haven't use drug and alcohol all my life because drug and alcohol waste time mess up my body. Yu better carefully killed from drug.
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Spam du jour, via Xanga:
Sup ignatzmous, my name is Chad am Im 18 years old, i have been involved in the web-development area for a few years now. Recently I released a web site specifically made for teens.

Its a general site that exercises the first amendment. My site is called Beast Toast. It has about 8,000 members already, so if you have a question about something, or just want to share your thoughts feel free to hit my site up.

Site: www.BeastToast.com
Register: www.BeastToast.com/forum/register.php
~Chad
Sup Chad. Beet toast? Beast totes? Bee Stoats? First amendment? web-development? CHAD?
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Comedy gold this morning as my old post about myspace and ultralounges attracted the attention of a clubspammer/webspammer, who had this to say.
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This is probably not news to anyone who watches TV but I just saw a commercial for the American Association of Retired Persons that used the Buzzcocks for its background music.
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Subject: The new year is coming, but where is your lover?

With you, I own the whole world; without you, I have nothing! That's the exact word I want to tell my future lover. I'm still one of the millions of thousands of lonely military singles!!! I strongly believe that God can bring you to my side.
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[livejournal.com profile] vanmojo alerted me to something very special about this year's Rose Parade. For those outside the US, the Rose Parade is a huge New Year's Day event connected with the Rose Bowl college football game. Corporations make giant floats, high school bands march, and it goes on forever.

Because 2007 will be the 30th anniversary of Star Wars, George Lucas will be the grand marshal. And also because of this, the 501st Legion will be marching in the parade.

charity stormtroopersHaving a lot of Star Wars stuff in the parade sounds cool. Maybe some of the actors from the original movie, or a bunch of wookies. But no. This will be a large gathering of the Imperial Stormtroopers marching by in review.

The 501st has a long and hilarious history of charity appearances, each of which is more like an Onion article than the others. And they're just costumed nerds, I know.

So I guess it's perfectly fine to have the brutal, oppressive cannon fodder minions of the dark Empire marching proudly in our parade. You know, the ones who kill and burn Luke's family at the beginning of the original movie. And it's totally cool also to have a group named after the Nazi murderers who slaughtered millions of innocents in a horrific war of aggression, carrying out the most notorious genocide in the history of mankind. In fact, it should be awesome!

No wait, it's that other thing: shockingly ignorant and offensive!

Someone please tell me this is a long drawn-out prank by Mel Brooks. Please.

Edit:Lucas' extensive ripoffs from The Triumph of the Will just aren't helping here either. Pasadena is the new Nuremberg.

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