grawk

Apr. 28th, 2009 07:36 pm
substitute: (ahpuch)
jonathan livingston asshole

Seagulls, as you know, never falter, never stall. To stall in the 
air is for them disgrace and it is dishonour. 
 But Jonathan Livingston Seagull, unashamed, stretching his 
wings again in that trembling hard curve - slowing, slowing, 
and stalling once more - was no ordinary bird.
substitute: (reich)
I can't wait for journalists to discover other teen risks such as "buttsex," "alco-hol," and "military enlistment." I hope Kim Komando was on vacation when someone wrote this, because I remember her as smart and funny and pretty much sane.

Web delivers new worry for parents: Digital drugs

We all know that music can alter your mood. Sad songs can make you cry. Upbeat songs may give you an energy boost. But can music create the same effects as illegal drugs?

This seems like a ridiculous question. But websites are targeting your children with so-called digital drugs. These are audio files designed to induce drug-like effects.

All your child needs is a music player and headphones.

actually, it is ridiculous. sorry )

KINDER

Jul. 25th, 2008 08:57 pm
substitute: (oldman bad computer)
substitute: (squid)
This just in:
THE NATIONAL WEATHER SERVICE IN OXNARD HAS ISSUED A * TORNADO WARNING FOR... SOUTHWEST LOS ANGELES COUNTY IN SOUTHWEST CALIFORNIA INCLUDING THE CITIES OF MALIBU... PACIFIC PALISADES AND TOPANGA ... * UNTIL 945 PM PST * AT 836 PM PST... NATIONAL WEATHER SERVICE DOPPLER RADAR INDICATED A SEVERE THUNDERSTORM WITH ROTATION CAPABLE OF PRODUCING A TORNADO. THE CELL WAS LOCATED 5 MILES SOUTH OF MALIBU MOVING NORTH NORTHEAST AT 25 MPH. IT SHOULD AFFECT MALIBU AND PACIFIC PALISADES BEFORE 900 PM PST.
Instruction:
IF IN MOBILE HOMES OR VEHICLES...EVACUATE THEM AND GET INSIDE A SUBSTANTIAL SHELTER. IF NO SHELTER IS AVAILABLE... LIE FLAT IN THE NEAREST DITCH OR OTHER LOW SPOT AND COVER YOUR HEAD WITH YOUR HANDS
substitute: (Default)
I own a strange object. It is a plastic ball about the size of a baseball, with a hole in it, a dial, and some lettering identifying it as a "treat ball." Like other such objects, it's intended to amuse animals by leading them to poke at the ball and get treats. The twist with this particular one is that you can record your voice (or other sounds) so that the ball, when batted about, plays a short sound clip. I'm not sure what effect it's supposed to have on the pet.

This particular treat ball was given to me by a friend. The voice recorded within is that of her ex mother-in-law, who is a unique person in that she's a series of DSM-IV codes. I won't go into it. However, the sound that issues from the ball is a breathy high woman's voice, pleading with you.

The final effect is similar to that of the glowing-pulsating-red-heart ghost bride at Disneyland's Haunted House, calling you back, back, back to the grave.

I had it around the house for a couple years at least. It was on a little used desk but sometimes I bumped it and the voice came out. A couple of times it went off unexpectedly, which was a treat. My cat just looks at me funny when it makes noise.

Recently I put it in my car's trunk. I am not sure why; maybe I meant to take it to someone's house and make them afraid. Anyway, I would hear it when I braked or took a hard turn, or went over a bump. For a while I didn't realize what the sound was and kept thinking it was the stereo or maybe my phone having pocketdialed someone. I found it in the trunk again today and thought I should remove it because constant use would run down a battery.

Anyway I camvideo'd it:

embedded video )

You're welcome!
substitute: (legion badge)
Pete gave me the update on that crazy "let's simulate a pandemic including all the creepy quarantine arrests" story. The best paragraph in the new story:
Walsh said the drill didn’t apparently alarm area residents because county officials didn’t receive any calls, but she added that the investigators reported that small groups of curious people gathered to watch the actors be cuffed with plastic handcuffs and taken away in unmarked cars.
Oh hey great. When they take me to Camp Halliburton, there will be a small group of curious people watching.

http://www.thedailystar.com/news/stories/2006/05/24/drill1.html
substitute: (attack)

Kraken Girl, originally uploaded by Grabthar.

You have no idea, Professor. I was browsing what I thought was the usual portfolio of young ladies in bathing costumes -- a mostly innocent pastime I'm sure you'll agree -- when the most indescribably terrible sight met my eyes. The face was in part human, but this unspeakably alien... I... I can't go on.

substitute: (lamers)
Suspicious lamp prompts evacuation
A Huntington Beach homeowner saw the object in a garage.

By RYAN HAMMILL
The Orange County Register

HUNTINGTON BEACH — A report of a suspicious lamp in a garage led to a neighborhood evacaution today before the Orange County sheriff’s bomb squad determined that the object was harmless.

A Mangrum Drive homeowner called Huntinton Beach police about 3 p.m. after seeing wires protruding from the base and an unfamiliar light bulb, Sgt. Dave Bunetta said.

Police officers visually inspected the lamp before calling the bomb squad and the Huntington Beach Fire Department’s hazardous material unit, Bunetta said.

Residents within 300 feet of the house were evacuated for about 3½ hours during the investigation.

The house is next door to a home day care, which also was evacuated, and two blocks from Marina High School.
substitute: (staypuft)
No, it wouldn't. It would be terrifying. But that wouldn't happen.

Would it? )

The entire story is behind the cut, or you can just read it here if the url hasn't gone away. From the Asia Times, via Harry Shearer in the Huffington Post.
substitute: (tesh)
After a pleasant meal of spaghetti & turkey meatballs and a green salad with gordonzola [sic] cheese and tomatoes, I'm relaxing as I listen to the neighborhood freakin' explode. It gets louder every year. The mortars have moved east of the Boulevard finally and I also heard gunfire, which is not cool.

Either that or someone has designed a set of firecrackers that sounds exactly like a .30 caliber semiautomatic rifle emptying a five round magazine. It certainly got my attention.

I missed the City of Irvine's Summer Series beginning with a bang! The advertisement promised that "Fireworks, music by the Kingston Trio, and a Pat Sajak narration of 'Casey at the Bat' headline the event." Pat Sajak reading "Casey at the Bat"? PAT SAJAK? When Harry Shearer did his version of Kato Kaelin and John Tesh performing "Peter and the Wolf" it was supposed to be a joke, not a model for future entertainment. Yow. Ideally the Kingston Trio and Mr. Sajak would be attached to a gigantic rocket and forced to perform "Oh Susanna" while being fired into Modjeska Canyon at tremendous speed, but Irvine never really had that kind of spark.

Last night I dreamed about the cobbler Bethya made yesterday.

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